i miss you but i know i shouldnt
u make my heart hurt. only this time i truely realize that its only because i allow the situation of you, of what was us, to hurt me.
alone at last. i know where everyone is. where they want to be.
so i cant worry about why you havent texted me, because you dont want too, right now im not a krucial aspect of your life. and my mom always told me never to overstay my welcome.
this is my way to cope, so it makes sense that your always in my journal entries, be it on this blog or in the tiny spiral i always carry in my back right pocket. i still wonder if these emotions are a waste. so i pour em out and hopefully they’ll run dry
i believe in us so much. and spending days with you just seems like a tease when i dont hear from you for the next week. or when your on ur crackberry texting 247 while you spent the whole day with me. your always my number one, spending time with you makes me think that i have that top spot with you too but idk never know where your head is. it doesnt really matter anyways.
i feel as though my honey moon phase hasnt ended. i still desire to talk to you all night, i’d text you all day if you’d reply back. if you were still intrigued by me.
your still my reeses effect. but i guess love isnt enough, doesnt matter because i dont have a job, or i havent done this and that. because im not 27, have a car, done with my masters. whatever the fuck it is.
just a rant, more of a cry of my heart. your a shadowy experience in my mind, i know i need to let go
