i feel really empty inside. highs and lows. up and downs. i dont know how i could be doing so well in school yet because i havent gotten an internship im going to fail a class. its bullshit. makes me feel even when im doing good it doesnt matter. this whole semester ive been shooting for A’s so i can get the best scholarship possible. Did all my work. Lowest grade I’ve gotten back so far was a 81, but Im going to fail one class becauase i dont have a fucking internship. I feel so low, Im kind of not feeling anything. Like well fuck this should have expected. Of course you were going to end up feeling this way and of course something had to crumble. Aside from the fact that Im lonely as hell. My nephews birthday next week. Im here all alone, I have no family to hug. It feels weird hugging people. [People Im not focused on maybe fucking] Im not used to getting close to people I really love anymore, not used to hugs. Its the little things. Little Things we miss, little things that will bring it all crashing down. I guess i should have expected it.
