wouldnt it suck to be colorblind?

ego, unconcious.

all i can be is me. there are moments where i feel that i should be doing more, in an artistic show and prove sense. i should be more this, seem more that. because thats a good look for other people, [it might be what she likes. honestly] but i am me.  im pretty simple, not ultra stylish. i do enjoy stripes and colors, wear what the fck i want, do enjoy collecting random facts like turtles can breath from their behinds and eating dandelions will make you pee more.

then i realize that it’s a blessing that im not stuck on my ego. Ego in the sense of my persona, alter ego, mask that society requires. we all have one but I realize who i really am. those who have a strong ego have a collection of undealt with aspects of themselves in their unconscious. [read some JUNG] Quick side note, talking to this girl from school on Facebook right now…I dont know why she thinks that I care that she loves ‘caking’ and that she spent so much money today shopping. Stuck on herself, buying unnecessary shit lol. *strong ego, clean your unconscious hun.  Not to claim that my unconscious is all in the light, because it clearly projects some thought of being unworthy/inadequate [hence me feeling i need to be more ‘socially cool and artistic’ yada] …anyways.. 

Yesterday I got krucially drunk. I will not be attending the next Sweat [queer dance party] lol and I will not be drunking the next time I go out. Just need to take a break from that si? One thing about ending the night early, you dont smoke all your cigs. [I didnt pass out but i left the party hella quick lol] ….. Luego

extra side note.. my now ex bestfriend.. who is also the ex and mother of my brother’s kids.. is wylling on me because my bro doesnt do all that he should for his kids. i understand, wyll out on him. but you know that me and my parents walk miles to help you out. why are u leaving vicious voicemails on my moms phone all the way in qatar? and sending me facebook messages like im cut off? i mean i didnt fuck u, i dont have to do shit for those kids. but i do.. smh..